Last updated.. Jan 2020
as published in TRUCK WEST Magazine 2005 - and thanks to
artist Jamie Bowen
You might like to forward the above to several of
the 'geniuses' that legislate some of this nonsense..
Observations 2006 (or, Deep Thoughts for
those who Take Life Way Too seriously
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest of them a bad name
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
- Every one has a photographic memory.. some just don't have
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak
the Zurich (investment) Axioms
Risk - Worry is not a sickness but a sign of health -- if
you are not worried, you are not risking enough.
Greed - Always take your profit too soon. Decide in advance
what gain you want and, when you get it, get out.
Hope - When the ship starts sinking, jump. Accept small
losses as a fact of life.
Forecasts - Human behaviour cannot be predicted. Distrust
anyone who claims to know the future.
Patterns - Chaos is not dangerous until it starts to look
Mobility - Avoid putting down roots. They impede motion. Do
not become trapped in a souring venture because of sentiments like
loyalty and nostalgia.
Intuition - A hunch can be trusted if it can be explained.
Never confuse a hunch with a hope.
the Occult - If astrology worked, all astrologers would be
Optimism and Pessimism - Optimism means expecting the best,
but confidence means knowing how you will handle the worst. Never
make a move if you are merely optimistic.
Consensus - Disregard the majority opinion. It is probably
wrong. Never follow speculative fads. Often the best time to buy
something is when nobody else wants it.
Stubbornness - If it doesn't pay off the first time, forget
it. Never try to save a bad investment by "averaging down."
Planning - Long-range plans engender the dangerous belief
that the future is under control. It is important never to take
your own long-range plans or other people's seriously.
the CONTRACTORS DICTIONARY
CONTRACTOR - the Gambler who never gets to
shuffle, cut or deal
ENGINEERS ESTIMATE - Cost of construction in heaven
BID - Wild guess carried out to two decimal places
BID OPENING - Poker game in which the losing hand wins
LOW BIDDER - Contractor who is wondering what he left
CRITICAL PATH METHOD - Management technique for losing
your shirt under perfect control
PROJECT MANAGER - of an orchestra in which every
musician is in a different union
STRIKE - Union effort to increase egg production by
strangling the chicken
DELAYED PAYMENT - Tourniquet applied at the pocket
COMPLETION DATE - Point at which liquidated damages
AUDITORS - People who go in after the war is lost and
bayonet the wounded
LAWYERS - People who go in after the auditors and
strip the bodies
(as published in the Supply Post - and many thanks to
Bill Bosovitch from Rock Creek, BC)
some Words of Wisdom
- It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal
the neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and a leaky tire.
- It's a small world, so you gotta use your elbows a lot.
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Always remember you're unique - just like everyone.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- It is far more impressive when others discover your good
qualities without your help.
- If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again it
was probably worth it.
- If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
- You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
- When someone says, "Do you want my opinion?" - it's always a
- The trouble with work is - it's so daily...
- The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that
- Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy.. check 3
friends - if they are OK, you're it.
- Pain and suffering are inevitable but misery is optional.
- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.
- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is
dressed in overalls and looks like work !
(quote - Thomas Edison)
Q - "You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will
you answer two questions for me?"
A - Absolutely! What's the second question?
and IN CLOSING
You might like to see what our "favorite islamist"
is up to now ..
Feel free to e-Mail
your best and we will make sure it is included here..
This page is maintained by the
Janitor at DECKRANE SERVICES